Eyes Down, Tits Up! T-Shirt

The official dress code for organised chaos.

Perfect for hen dos, bingo nights, bottomless brunches, and any situation where things are about to go off the rails, this tee says exactly what needs to be said – loudly and without apology. It’s silly, bold, and dangerously quotable. Much like the person wearing it.

Cut in a classic, structured fit, it sits nicely, holds its shape, and layers effortlessly once jackets are abandoned and dignity slips. Ideal for group photos, night-out uniforms, and letting the table next to you know you mean business.

The important-but-boring bits:

• 100% cotton

• Heather colours: 50% cotton, 50% polyester

• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170–180 g/m²)

• Open-end yarn

• Tubular fabric

• Taped neck and shoulders

• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem

• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico

Please note:

• White may appear slightly off-white rather than bright white

• Natural colourways may include dark speckles – this is expected

Each t-shirt is made especially for you once your order is placed. It takes a little longer to arrive, but producing items on demand helps reduce overproduction – which is good, because you’ll be making enough questionable decisions elsewhere.